Awakened by Sin (Crime Lord Series Book 4) by Mia Knight

Author:Mia Knight [Knight, Mia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-03-29T18:30:00+00:00

14

Carmen woke to the sound of a ringing phone. She opened swollen, itchy eyes and surveyed her bedroom from the floor. Sunlight filtered through the blinds and warmed her body, which she had curled in the fetal position.

The ringing stopped. Her body ached as if she had the flu. Her eyes moved up to the urn, a constant reminder of what she had lost. She curled her toes, and even that small gesture sent a streak of pain to her temples. She swam in a sea of regret and self-loathing. If she hadn’t fought for Vinny to become crime lord, he never would have been killed. Maybe Steven Vega wouldn’t have pegged Vinny as an easy mark and Gavin wouldn’t have gone on a bloody revenge spree, he and Lyla wouldn’t have put off their wedding, and maybe Steven wouldn’t have gone for Uncle Manny …

She curled into a tighter ball to combat the agony searing her insides. She buried the truth because she couldn’t handle the fact that she had orchestrated her husband’s demise. Vinny wouldn’t have become crime lord without her interference. Gavin wouldn’t have allowed it if she hadn’t made that call. Why had she done it? That was what a good wife does. She moaned and covered her head with her arms as if that would protect her from the memories ripping her soul to shreds. She encouraged him to be crime lord to help him be more confident and prove Gavin wrong. It was she who was wrong. She ruined her life and everyone else’s, and for what?

Guilt and more pain than she could bear flooded through her. She took refuge in a zombie-like state for years, but she couldn’t avoid the truth any longer. Gavin signed his cousin’s death warrant. Maddog’s words lashed at her. No, it was his wife who signed his death warrant. All her fault. She writhed on the ground as the pain turned her inside out. She couldn’t stay still, couldn’t put a stopper on it. She instinctively clawed her chest to get beneath her skin to the source of her agony. If she could have, she would have carved out her own heart. Memories of Vinny taunted her. She could feel his hands on her skin, remember the smell of their lovemaking, the touch of his hands cupping her face. She could see his face so clearly.

What did I do to deserve a wife like you?

She screamed to block out the echo of his voice. She got to her knees and gripped her head as she rocked uncontrollably. She couldn’t take much more. She had to make it stop.

The sound of the phone ringing pierced through her hysteria. She spotted her purse and crawled across the carpet and turned it upside down. Phone, tampons, condoms, keys, gun. She touched cold metal and was about to wrap her hands around it when she heard, “Carmen?”

She jerked her hand away from the gun as her mother’s voice broke the spell as effectively as a crowd of people stampeding into the room.

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